I want to write a letter to the one who isn't in some "new year/new me" type stuff. To the person that is so bogged down that their only goal is to make it through the day. To the one who tries to set a long term goal and your body cringes because it remembers the hurt from the last time you tried to have hope. To the one who looked at last years vision board and could basically carbon copy those goals on the 2020 board. To the one that would love to be ambitious but can't. To the one that cancels more plans than they keep. The one who can't tell truth from reality because your emotions are playing tricks on you... this is for you.
I know that space.
I know what it feels like to be expected to be joyful and not be. I know what it feels like to be known as someone that you can't show up as. I know what it feels like to have to preserve all of your energy for your most important responsibilities and comforting yourself as you watch everything else fall by the wayside. I know what it feels like to not want someone to hug you because you don't have time to have an emotional meltdown. I know what it feels like to have the person that was supposed to be first in line to be emotionally supportive bail on you, and then accuse you of being deficient when you try to express yourself. I know what it feels like to believe in God and not believe God.
I get it.
For you, don't make any resolutions. Don't set any goals. Don't try to lose weight, save money, read 22 books, start a new hobby, or look for a new job. Just don't.
For the one that hurts so bad you can't think straight, your only goal is to be. Take a breath and sit still. You don't have to have an idea of what's next or which way to move. Just be. God is still moving, even when you don't have the energy to partner with Him. God is still God, even when your only prayer is "but God, why??". His will is still sovereign, even when it feels counter intuitive to what you know He promised you. He is still all powerful, even when your entire world is spiraling.
God doesn't require an elaborate prayer, complete with pleasantries and salutations. For you, just say "Hey God, this is me tapping in. Do your thing". For the one that can't seem to get moving, just be... God will take care of the rest.
Remember, the future is both hazy and bright. But regardless of how big your emotions are, God is still bigger.
Your only goal, for today, is to just be.
With love,
Dr. Glenna
